How do you help someone who's all but given up?

[-Me]

Hi there all,

First post for me, 👋

I'm really concerned. A family member has recently spoken about wanting to end things as there is no support available. He just wants to be alone, away from the family mainly. He seems to be fine with outsiders, fine to socialise, fine when he's away from those closest to him and he can push his feelings aside. I've asked if he'd like me to contact friends who he's helped in the past, nope. If I could organise some kind of group or individual therapy for him, nope.

He wants to move out and have nothing to do with us, except for the occasional phone call or visit. I'm lost. He says he's spoken to counsellors from Open Arms once a month or whenever he feels like it, but I seriously think he needs more. "You'd all just be better off if I ended things".

How on earth do you help someone who's pushing you away, and has repeatedly said they don't want help?

[RiverSeal]

Hey @-Me, thank you for sharing your experiences with the community!

It sounds like you are going through a tough time with the family member you are supporting. You are demonstrating your strength and resilience by reaching out to your peers here on the Forums. It takes courage to be vulnerable and talk about what is going on for you and your family.

I'm not sure if you know, but the SANE Forums have spaces for Veterans and Veterans Families to support each other. I don't know if you would find it beneficial to connect with your peers in those spaces? I will put some links below:

Veterans:

• https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veterans/bd-p/VeteransForumforum-board
• https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veterans/What-do-you-need-from-this-forum-Let-us-know...
• https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veterans/START-HERE-Welcome/td-p/1646537

Veterans Families:

• https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran/bd-p/veterans-supportersforum-board
• https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran/What-do-you-need-from-this-forum-Let-us-know-...
• https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran/Welcome-to-the-Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran-F...

I hope the commuity has some insights that they can share with you!

Take care

RiverSeal