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Looking after ourselves

Re: 🌻

@maddison 

Just a brief popping by.

I was worried about you, as i knew things were not tenable, and you were being so supportive on the forum but I knew things were very hard.  Hope its not too stalkerish to post this.  Love that you are a cat mama.  Did not read whole thread. Just keep being you.  I learn from different ways of emotional expression.

 

Cheers Apple

Re: 🌻

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Re: 🌻

@tonys ...mate, I love you too.       Always.

 

 

I AM 

as

I SEE

As I SEE

I Am,

Me 

I   AM Not 

I

SEA

I AM

Not 

I am Me 

I am Here 

Now 

I AM Not

There 

 

There is dream 

There   is hope 

There   is God 

     In Me 

I AM Fear 

 I AM Pain 

  I am Regret 

    . ..  A SHAM ED

     Pity

      Ugly 

        Beneath 

Under 

    I feel like sin 

        And pain 

  I hurt 

  The fear 

Feel hard in 

  I love 

  It hurts 

    Feel,

       ..

     ......

 

 Please annoint her

 Bless Her

 Heart

 Mind 

 Spirit

   Skin

inside. 

  ..within                                          .

 

I AM  dark 

I flood with love

Your Here 

Here is Me 

Wound 

I Lay 

I Kneal 

I Look 

I Can't 

I'm quiet 

I   Bleed.

    Blood 

It   Seeps 

    I Hope 

     I Dream 

      I Want 

       I Feel 

        I'm More Now 

than   I     could     ever 

               I'm 

               Me 

             I Hurt 

         More ..Now!!

            It's Over 

             Deceit 

                I Lie

               I love 

               I hurt 

              I Need 

           More now

It  hurts 

  I Feel 

My  Feet 

Numb &

Dumb 

They don't want me 

They Want Too!

Feel 

Walk   Out 

     Of   me 

Trapped in a mirror

Out of me 

I wasted the Time 

I had before 

I fell &   hurt 

My  toe 

My

knee,  Who is He.. ?

Hold MY Heart,  .. open now

Soooo ... TightLY

Bring knee 

Sore  Legs

  in chest 

Hollow...

I Grieve

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tonys
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

@maddison   Feel as much as you need to,  but  waste no coin on regret ,   remember.... regret  has no value....     Thankyou for the tunes you sent me..

I am going to journey to the end of the, Illanis Morreset  road and then,  Sia is new to me.   I think much more is behind this little window you have opened.

I may have mentioned before that I made an underground room a few years back and it is where I keep the only piece of furniture that was not a,    rubbish tip rescue.

 

My stereo,     or as the man who sold it to me likes to call it,...   hi fidelity unit...

 

So when a  piece of music comes in ,  well  that no small  thing here..

I  sit in the dark  watching the valves on my  phase linear amp glow into life,    and then magic fills the dark.   

 

Its the small things that we forgot how to love  that still love us back....     A  smile.... A cloud

A pure voice    words  from places.... we cant begin to imagine the  birthplace of their creation.

 Thats why we know,    hope exists,.....    even in    the dark.

 

Some sounds for you that always make me smile.  I cant do links  but ,  here  goes.

 

Sway my way       by      Amy shark

 

Take on me..      Video version..     by    A  ha. 

 

Kiss  me        by      sixpence  none the richer... 

 

And   ......    the whole of the moon   . . with  Lyrics... . .  by   the     Water   boys..

 

the words mean  a lot to me...  . . . . .    depends  on the  light,.....   I,    shine  on  them.

 

I  googled   the word     muse   Knowing  how I  feel  about  men,    I  don't think you realize  what  a  compliment   that  is  for me,    thankyou.

 

Now  after  lunch,   I   have to  figure  out  how to  fix my   cool  room,   and while  my  hands are  botching up  the job   I  might start thinking of a way  to a easier life...

Gonna  start googleing sail  boats and see where that  leads.

 

Don't   do what I  do and loose your  self  at sea my friend.

 

tonys moon base one 

 

 

 

Re: 🌻

I listened to your music @tonys 

 

I listened to you.

 

Yes.

 

Loose.

 

Stillness fills. 

Re: 🌻

I don't know what you need @tonys You are ALWAYS welcome to ask me, tell me. I'm here 4 YOU. πŸ‘

Re: 🌻

@Appleblossom 

 

Hello Apple,

I love ur cute name.

 

I hope I didn't leave you hanging. I hope you can recognise, & I'm absolutely sure you can - that I'm in a process of defining, & re defining my self, my boundaries, my needs...Me.

 

I think you are good for me. I think you are a person who wants to support me  in claiming & joyfully celebrating all these pieces we women ignored & almost forgot.

 

I'm sorry I made you feel like you had use the word 'stalkerish'. I think I know you were saying it in a gentle approach. Its very nice to read that you perceive I'm being supportive. My confidence is building. The words are healing. I'm grateful for you. 

 

You have my permission to read the whole thread 😻

 

Thankyou for validating me. 

 

Expression. I honour your advice.

 

I do Music, Dancing, Journaling 

-has variety 

*Releasing blocked thoughts, emotions, a rescue/emergency 

 

*Creative writing 

 

*Self Work, learning who I am 

 

*Existence 

 

* Words I cannot write here 

 

* Letters I cannot write here 

 

* Directions 

 

* Reclamation

 

I walk (not lately) , talk with supports, sit on back step, lay on grass - the ground here is too hard, & I like to look at the beach, the horizon.β€οΈπŸ‘

 

 

 

 

 

Re: 🌻

Hugs @maddison β€οΈ

Re: 🌻

@tonys 

 

Dear tonys,

 

This letter is awkward. I feel awkward. Vulnerability is new. I'm trying to choose very carefully the correct words I want to say to to you. 

 

Every word in my head feels wrong. How can I say... This is not flowing out easily like i want it too. I want to say 

 Now I am stuck again. Each time I try to say anything I pause - pen lifted from paper as I search my mind for the.  and.    I will get this out.

 

I need help.

 

Jynx
Peer Support Worker

Re: 🌻

Take some deep breaths @maddison and remember - vulnerability takes time and practice. It gets easier. And in my own experience, it truly does take strength to be vulnerable. So take your time with it. Here if you need πŸ’œ

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