Lived Experience Forum

[tonys]

@EternalFlower  Hope you are better than well.   thanks for the tag and  welcome.   firstly though and with resect for you....    If this forum was a t v station  then  I might  be the the fantasy or sci fi  channel . . . Most other stations  specialize In comfort,  support,   and good old fashioned  advice.    I would love to share with you,  but, . . If you are fragile,  be careful of the dark door.....     I   dont even  know where it may lead most times........    the reason I  love it ,  and  live there.

Parental guidance strongly advised . . . . .       tonys . . .   moon base one.

[Owlunar]

Wow @tonys 

What wonderful star-lit insight gave you the image of the long purple box in my suitcase? I gave you no clue for it - in fact I never knew it's colour or size - though I have known about its presence and shape for over 36 years. It's interesting - I like the colour purple but I never buy purple clothes - there is nothing purple in my home except coloured pencils - so that is magical. It's a story of derailment when the whole universe went sideways for me

I must light a candle - because the story isn't a happy one. I had a little boy - we adopted him because I couldn't seem to have a baby myself - so he was like a rose that I picked from someone else's bush - he was a very mixed-up person with a bunch of disorders. He was on a different spectrum - I used to say he had a star-shaped personality. He just couldn't fit in. In time his story derailed - his candle went out. 

I loved him deeply and though his story stopped his life has lived on in mine. I am amazed and deeply touched that you saw this so quickly. Thank you for sharing this. It was so special to read your reply to my post this morning. And timely too.

Your finding my truth is a treasure indeed. I am of an Anglo-Celtic background - my ancestors are English and Irish. The Irish side of me is visionary - I can't always describe what I can "see" but I do have an inner sight - as obviously you do too.

Otherwise I have the advantages of being fair-skinned which naturally gives me an advantage in a society that can be racist - my religion is Protestant and that is just plain easier to live with. Being female is okay for me personally still not being paid what men were being paid for the same work constantly made it itchy - and still does.

I am intrigued with Tony's moon base - I will be back - my candle is pretty bright - it's light has been tested - it's still strong

My best thoughts

Owlunar

[Owlunar]

Hi @EternalFlower 

You haven't overstepped - I am happy you tagged me

Yes - I am happy to be me - it has been a long and winding road to get here in my life. I think very few people have an easy path and perhaps those who do are not always fulfilled. 

I wish you best day possible. 

Owlunar

[tonys]

@Owlunar  Yes your candle is so very bright..   Firstly its best I tell you that years of farm labour forges fingers unfit for violins and keyboards.    So on occasion I have to send a letter in to parts or the machine times me out.   And my spelling, . . .    lets not go there.

Bright candles. . .    To give me something so deep from your past.     A year ago I learned to use a computor,  joined this forum ,  and have stood on the waters edge,  waiting for your story in this bottle.  Like me ,  it travels through time , two destinies,   one precise place.   one precise moment.   they touch as they pass on their journeys.   Yes the story is sad but you are at peace with it perhaps.   Its not self pity.  

This is what I search for,  yearn for,  and learn from,  in ways you cant imagine.

A revelation of true emotion.   The insight into worlds beyond.   A real world,    your world..

Yes ,  by your hand and in your heart he lives.   You will carry his candle to the place he waits,   A place so filled with light ,  the need for candles is no more..

The inner sight of a visionary.   I loved to hear that,  It matters not that words fail you, . .and me.     There are places that words are ill equipped to describe .

That purple box is one of so many.    The underlying  ebb and flow,   the inaudible hum,  splinters in the darkest hours of the night..   They  are the waves of energy  that connect these portals.     The places where words are no longer needed.   

Just  the minds   eye,  . . . .  and the heart..

Racism,    a trigger for me to.   why can we not  just be content to  give unconditional love  to

to the many different faces of humanity.

Yes  i am sure whatever they are paying you,  its not half what you are worth and I  dont want to guess how you serve the world with your gifts.. . ?

Your description and self analysis,    so  complex,    suitcases full of islands ,  yet to be explored..   

You touch on what it is to be a woman.     I  tried exploring this in a poem I posted just before Christmas  .    I would watch my lady sleep in the small hours,   trying to imagine the depth , pain and burdens best understood buy woman.  Between two worlds ,  the portals we speak of,  How will I ever know,   and in her passing  her secrets went with her. . .

Till next we share  and I so hope you continue too.  I  wish you  peace. 

tonys moon base one. 

[Owlunar]

Hi @tonys  - moon base 1

I was thinking about my private islands in my suitcase and the man with the mower came and noise shattered grassy splinters into my private thoughts - I had to return to the more mundane world of chores and whatever that fills our time. 

And I thought about the message in a bottle floating though a year of farmer's fingers and arthritic hands and we were both here having our ideas - learning to manage - who could have seen? Who would have known? There was a moment when the fireworks would start and the world would be brighter.

Yes - I have arthritis - I was a fair pianist and guitarist - now it's harder to play a piano keyboard and the gave the guitar to someone who could use it. But I still have this magic folder with which a can contact the universe.

For nothing stays the same - only one thing is sure and that is that things will be different.

But my private islands - those paperbacks in my suitcase are all different spaces and places that a there for the taking - in my mind they are unique interpretations. I became a time traveller when I was quite young. I only had to open the pages of a book - or comic - listen to the radio - science fiction grabbed me. It still does

It's Monday and the mundane issues of life need attention. My suitcase is black with a brightly coloured tied for identification. It's rather small too - but inside - ah inside - there is so much you have helped me see

Owlunar

[tonys]

@Owlunar  Hello Owlunar      Mowers,   machines, ---- Noise ----   Violins, strings and ivories ---   Something else again ----  art.      I invest time in this realm, the elimination of, separating, understanding wavelengths,     cause and effect.     The search for pure sound.    If a perfect diamond has no substance and exists only as     pure light     then what of pure sound. 

Takes a life time to build,  accumulate our islands  and hope we don't strand ourselves on one.  Some people just get stuck in an age and time don't they.

My guitar is left handed but then what else could it have been.    Your magic folder,    I like to think of my laptop as that too,  or is it something more.   My folder of old sheet music glows in the dark when my back is turned,    or when it rains.   The piano    the greatest respect I can give it is to   listen only.    

Change      entropy.    Nothing ever was   meant to stay the same  was it.   It's the accepting -- change -- some fear it,    I crave it.   To ponder the objects as they pass through time and space, and marvel at the meetings of chance,  is it also art.    Trajectory and certain collision.  Is it science. 

We wander the endless highways at night between these lines as they move side to side to destinations and collisions  unknown

My hand placed upon the purple box,  spine frozen   eyes transfixed in hypnotic glaze,    the image revealed in the fog filled room --- but I have not yet begun to open this vessel.

Islands and velvet boxes.   Accumulations of lifetime experience and stories.   Puzzles,  pieces   each unique,   and not to be diminished, or diluted by the shadows of adjoining pieces.   These are not things that can be taken,   only given.   There is no easy way to ask so shall I just ask you please    for another piece.   It's detail, valleys, peaks and rivers, yours to reveal,  should I be so fortunate.   I am aware of the gravity of the request.   

Mine is a motel of endless hallways.   Shafts of light from some keyholes,    the eye of the crow in others.   The doorman waits across time to turn the keys,   only one story behind each door so not to be diminished by adjoining guests.   Infinite doors.   The motel is at your service should you ever wish to abandon all caution.   

I end this letter as I should have started it and then -- how are you today,    well,    fair   or altered. 

Best wishes tonys moonbase one

[tonys]

@EternalFlower ,      Hello  eternal flower.   How has you day been,   I did say i would pop in to place a hand on your shoulder if needed,    after work today.      I can  see  that  you have visitors checking on you.    I hope you slept and sleep comes easily again on a bed of friendship and support  that  the forums and  fortune,  send to your door.

Here if ever you need a friend.   tonys  moon base 1

[Owlunar]

It's taken me a while to reply @tonys  - my week was a busy one and I need time to think - sometimes just let the question float through my soul I think - and take time to settle - there are so many images around that long, purple, velvet box in my little black suitcase with the brightly coloured tie around the handle.

I hope you are well and the world has been gentle with you - things keep happening and life can be interesting and a challenge at the same time. I enjoy this.

About the box - my uncle always wore purple shirts - because of his profession - he stood out in a crowd. It was a truly important part of him.

He died last year and I was able to fly interstate for his funeral - it's important to be able to go to a loved-one's funeral and he was very special to me - like a big brother - the one I never had. He had been in my life since I was born - it's not sad though - it's something really special.

Perhaps the fog in the room is full of my very special memories of this wonderful man who was - in many ways - my mentor. He was a talented singer and musician. I am sure he never played a guitar but the piano and the organ - certainly. He taught me to play block chords and modern music when my grandmother was teaching me classical piano and she was not excited when I came home from a holiday with my other grandmother with this different type of music.

So you have a left-handed guitar - that's really interesting. I guess you are right-handed - as I am - now my left shoulder is damaged and when I read you post I thought - could I learn to play a left-handed guitar - I think not but it's an idea.

My left hand-handed daughter plays the guitar right-handed. Now that too is intriguing.

I was thinking of you on Tuesday - I was waiting for a bus - it was a very hot afternoon and I was standing in the shade of tree when a breeze sprang up and made a soft, gentle whispering sound and I wondered what that would be called - it was a really wonderful moment standing there with a sky a brilliant blue and the gum-tree on the other side of the road was so noisy.

You are a special person - 

Owlunar.

[tonys]

@Owlunar   hello Owlunar.   Your letter arrived,  the clay cracked off my face as it gave birth to a smile,      first for a while.

I feared like so many others,  I  had frightened this hummingbird from my window too.  I am pleased to hear that there is much to fill your days,  Keeps those thoughts away, 

The sounds you speak of,  the laughter of leaves,  echoed from turquoise skies.  laundered 

purple shirts dancing on clothes lines.    The sounds of life woven into cords.   What beautiful memories you have.   What a beautiful man this was,  Your memories and his, are now part of mine.   Guitars are more forgiving to those with varying ability, than the piano I feel.

My guitar,  portable,  inseparable.  where it goes,  I follow,  accepting harsh realities and glowing campfires without fear or favour.

I had a normal day,        the first in a week or three.     I nursed the old truck into town.  It's always on empty,  I never fill it but it always gets me to,  some where .. somehow.   The parking meter

tips it's hat to greet me.   The mannequins in the shops shed their clothes and step right through the shop windows onto the street.  Shop windows that buckle, never breaking, to set them free.  People don't see me.     They pass,   some disturb my balance, others walk right through me, pausing momentarily to brush my ash from their lapels.  

The mannequins sense me though.  Giant polyploid figures, erratic exaggerated strides, heads turning to acknowledge my shadows on the side walk as they strut by from present to past.  Several times the sun raced across the sky but I guess it was  one  day

just   another   normal    day.

You replied, enabled that key, cleaning lady enters.   Room 88 cobwebbed and dusted.  Piano comes to life on the old gramaphone and a pale purple haze illuminates my old hotel.

I very much hope you will visit again to venture into the places beyond our shores and find a peace and joy in the sharing.  I hope your health is as good as can be, nurse that shoulder and nurture your soul.  Kindest regards      tonys      moonbase    one

[Owlunar]

@tonys 

H there Tony on the moon base. 

I went outside a few minutes ago - t's a beautiful night and the moon is rising - I still can't use my telescope because I need to get a folding table to put it on so I point at a planet and don't have to bend over so far I can't get to see anything in the heavens. The gymnastics involved are not helpful - then I thought -

Those frozen dummies in the great clothes and the movable arms and legs - made to make the clothing they model look better than it is - and happy day - I don't need to be fashionable anymore. Just presentable. How those dummies morph - and the plate-glass might be trying to escape to an alternate universe.

Do you think so?

My cleaning lady came and decided to chase all the cobwebs with my vacuum cleaner - well - those daddy-long-legs are actually friendly and hunt other arthropods that are more annoying. I felt like crying - leave my spiders alone - they are harmless.

But it's true - the webs were kinda dusty and festoons of that sort are not exactly attractive decor. It does look better - and I am sure the daddy-long-legs will be on duty again.

So - almost like magic my side gate was replaced - the side fence repaired - I have more privacy - the door frame is new and I have a new door - wonderful - today it was painted - this is great. How wonderful that men come around and fixed these problems - oh happy day.

And we have ants and mosquitoes and I will get to this -the telescope - and the planets. My days are very full and things are being done - i hope the hammers and electric saws and the fresh paint entertains someone else next week.

My special girl - my granddaughter - who lives on the Sunshine Coast is coming to visit me next week - so wonderful - a friend of hers is getting married and of course she will stay with her parents but we are having lunch together on Tuesday - I am so happy.

It's late - the traffic on the freeway hums a pleasant comforting sound - the songs of night insects orchestrating a unique background - the air is fresh and reminds me of past adventures. 

I hope your magic car can run a bit longer and get further than the servo. Do you drive out into the country and enjoy the bush - or to the coast. I love the breakers rolling in - I would love to jump into the surf and be tossed around - but - sigh - too many birthdays - my birthdays - have come to pass and body surfing hasn't been my thing for so long - but I remember

Thanks for your email - my special friend - your writing helps me see the universe and interact with it privately in a unique manner

All the best on the moon base

Owlunar