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Looking after ourselves

TKC81
New Contributor

BPD

Hi there 👋🏻 

My 19yr old has just been diagnosed with BPD, and was previously diagnosed with ADHD.

 

Very smart girl who now can’t work, emotions are all over the place and has even had 1 admission into an APU.

 

I want to know how you as parents/partners manage when your loved ones are in their “depressive” low state? I’m a single mum, with no other kids and work fulltime. The past 4 weeks have been the most draining of my entire life.

 

At home we have no booze, meds are locked away but I worry constantly and I’m curious on how others cope on your loved ones downer days, or when they’re being very “clingy”

 

Thank you - and I hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas

3 REPLIES 3

Re: BPD

@TKC81Welcome to the forum.

 

 It is so hard to see people we love in a low mood. 

 

Once they become adult though, it is also hard to take the step back, be available and not get over involved, or have to high expectations about they should cope with life in this oh so crazy world.  Nobody knows the right level of space better than the 2 of you.  I do know that my son has often bounced back when I have been extremely worried, and I am glad I have not rushed in too often to fix things, and let him work his own life out and figure out his best way forward. Over time I have found it quite confronting to reflect that often it has been my low mood that magnifies and worries about what is going on for him, so I tend towards being cautious, but strong in advocacy and support and encouragement.

 

Not easy being a mum or a single mum

TKC81
New Contributor

Re: BPD

Thank you for your reply, and it’s truly appreciated.

 

Unfortunately for my girl, she is just at the start of her journey with all of this and still looks to me for direction - it’s as though she goes back to being “child like” when in one of these phases.

 

Tonight ended up being a really sad day for her and an incident landed her in the Hospital. So for me it’s watch and wait and see, and a bit of respite for me tonight.

SuzyB
New Contributor

Re: BPD

You deserve a night off tonight 😎. & I do understand how difficult this is.
My adult son has been diagnosed with BPD (also has Crohns disease) & he shuts himself in his room for long periods & won't talk to me & as a Mum this is heartbreaking. Maybe he thinks he is punishing me ? I am at a loss & not sure what to do.
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